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Learn how to set healthy boundaries as a parent using this 3-step framework—and why boundaries are one of the most powerful forms of self-care.

Setting Boundaries Is Self-Care: A Framework for Caregivers

Being an adult comes with constant asks—from your children, your partner, your workplace, and even your own expectations. And while love and commitment are at the heart of caregiving, many parents find themselves giving until there’s nothing left.

This month, we’re taking a closer look at a powerful, often misunderstood tool that helps break that cycle: boundaries.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being rigid or shutting others out. It’s about clearly naming your needs, protecting your energy, and creating space for healthy relationships to grow. It’s also one of the most radical acts of self-care a parent can practice.

Boundaries Begin With Communication

Parenting at its core is relational work. Boundaries are part of how we communicate what we value, what we need, and what’s possible. When done with clarity and care, boundaries don’t disconnect us—they actually deepen connection, because they are rooted in honesty and trust.

But setting boundaries,especially if you didn’t grow up seeing them modeled,can feel hard and uncomfortable to communicate. You might worry you’re being “too much,” or that others won’t understand. That’s why having a simple framework can help. 

A 3-Step Formula for Setting Healthy Boundaries

When a situation calls for a boundary,whether it’s around time, energy, emotions, or physical space,try this 3-part formula to help guide your words and intention. Think of this as a template while practicing identifying and communicating boundaries. 

1. Communicate Your Need

Start by naming your experience or feeling. This grounds the conversation in your truth and shouldn’t come from a place of blame.

“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed when I don’t have time to myself after work.”
“I notice I get frustrated when the kids interrupt my meetings.”

2. Set the Boundary

Next, be clear and specific about what you need to change.

“I need 30 minutes to decompress when I get home.”
“During calls, I need the door to stay closed unless it’s an emergency.”

3. Propose an Alternative or Solution

Boundaries are most sustainable when they also offer a path forward. Suggest an option that supports connection or clarity.

“Let’s plan to check in after dinner instead.”
“If you need me, you can write a note and slide it under the door.”

This approach allows you to care for yourself and invite others into a more respectful dynamic.

Boundaries Are Not Barriers—They’re Bridges

One of the biggest misconceptions about boundaries is that they are selfish or mean. In reality, boundaries are one of the most loving things you can model for your children.

When parents set boundaries, they are showing their children:

• That everyone’s needs, including theirs, matter.
  
• That it’s okay to say no, and to say it kindly.
• That relationships thrive when we’re honest and respectful.

You don’t have to wait until you’re burned out or exhausted to set a boundary. Practicing them in everyday moments builds confidence and creates a more peaceful environment for everyone.

A Practice for This Month

As you move through July and August, take a moment to reflect:

What’s one small boundary I could set this week to care for myself?
How might I communicate that need clearly and with kindness?

Every time you choose honesty over people-pleasing, every time you honor your limits, you are modeling a new way forward.

Self-Care That’s Rooted in Relationships

Self-care is often sold to us as something extra: a spa day, a night out, or a moment of escape. And while those things can be wonderful, they’re not the whole picture. Last fall, we wrote about caring for the caregiver, with additional strategies to build a sustainable self-care routine.

Real self-care is about meeting your basic needs with consistency and compassion.

When you set a boundary, you’re saying:

“My well-being matters.”
“I’m allowed to protect my peace.”
“I can show up for others without abandoning myself.”

At Parenting Journey, we believe growth starts at home—and that includes you.