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For Facilitators Leading Parenting Journey Groups

As facilitators, we know silence can take many forms. It may show up at the start of a group, in response to a deep question, or when a caregiver is holding something tender and uncertain. While silence can feel uncomfortable, especially when we’re trained to keep things moving, it’s often rich with meaning.

At Parenting Journey, we invite you to shift your relationship with silence. Rather than rushing to fill it, what if we treated silence not as a pause to fix, but as a quiet gift that offers space and a sense of collective strength?

In this blog, we explore how silence can function as a trauma-informed facilitation tool in your practice, and share a few practical ways to make room for all voices, including the ones still finding their words.

🧠Why Silence Matters in Trauma-Informed Spaces

Silence is often misunderstood as disconnection. But for many caregivers in our groups, especially those who carry trauma, silence is a survival skill. It can be:

• A pause for safety, assessing whether it’s safe to speak.
• A moment of regulation, grounding before expressing emotion.
• A cultural practice where self-reflection is valued over a quick response.
• A response to being unheard, past experiences taught someone that speaking up doesn’t lead to being seen.

Recognizing this, we don’t force participation. We create an environment where people want to speak when they’re ready. Here is an excellent reminder that in our Parenting Journey curriculum, we always respect the “Pass Rule” – if a participant doesn’t feel like sharing, they can always pass.

🛠️5 Trauma-Informed Facilitation Practices that Welcome Silence

1. Normalize silence early

Try saying in your first group:

“Sometimes folks need time to think before they respond. Silence doesn’t mean something’s wrong, we’re giving ourselves space to process.”

This helps caregivers feel less pressure and reduces your urge to rescue the room from quiet.

2. Use invitational language

Instead of “Who wants to share?” try:

• “If it feels right for you…
  
• “You’re welcome to share, or you can hold it and come back later.”
•  “I’m going to give us a minute to process before we move on.”

This communicates both respect and choice, two critical ingredients for psychological safety.

3. Offer reflective prompts

Some voices emerge more easily in response to structured reflection. Try:

• “Think of a time someone really listened to you—what made that possible?”
• “Write one word that describes how you’re showing up today.”
• “If your stress had a color, what would it be?”
  

You can use paper, the Parenting Journey Parent journals, or even invite drawing for caregivers who feel safer expressing themselves visually.

4. Honor non-verbal participation

A nod. A tear. A shift in posture. These are responses. A trauma-informed facilitator notices and gently affirms:

“I see a lot of heads nodding. Thank you for being present with this.”
“You don’t have to speak to be heard here.”

This reinforces that participation is not limited to spoken words.

5. Debrief with your co-facilitator

After a session with a lot of quiet, it’s easy to wonder: Did I do something wrong? Use your co-facilitator (if you have one) to process the energy of the room. Often, what felt quiet was deeply engaged, and your presence made that possible.

6. Bonus: Revisit the group contract

If silence maintains a presence in your group, consider revisiting the group-created contract together. Asking the group, what expectations and behaviors might make this space “braver,” which we can lean into discomfort as a place for growth?

✍️Facilitator Reflection

Try journaling or discussing this with a peer:

• How do I typically feel when silence shows up in my groups?
• What messages did I receive about silence growing up?
• When have I witnessed silence lead to insight or connection?
  

The more comfort we build with stillness, the more we model that comfort for the caregivers we serve.

💬In Their Own Words

Each person in a group brings their own lens to the conversation and processes experiences in ways that are uniquely their own. As facilitators, when we hold space for people to engage with content in the way that works best for them, even if that means silence, we create an environment that supports growth.

One facilitator shared, “Recognizing everyone is on their own journey was so meaningful.”

🪴Closing Thought

Silence isn’t a lack of participation; it’s another form of it. As facilitators, our work is not to eliminate silence, but to stay present with it. Let’s trust its purpose and gently invite voices forward when and if they’re ready.

The power of the group lies not in how much is said, but in how deeply we listen.

Parenting Journey facilitation graduates, want to keep the conversation going? Head over to your Canvas account to engage with other industry professionals to connect and share ideas.